A Short Blog – I have a Sick Note

I am afraid that today’s blog is going to be a little shorter than usual. We were going to have a Valentines Evening out watching the Kaiser Chiefs in Leeds. Unfortunately I have been laid up in bed all day with a rumbling kidney stone. I feel a little better now, maybe it is the pain killers, but I do not feel like leaving the comfort of the house. Really frustrating, especially as I had a really good day yesterday out walking with a friend, still onwards and upwards – tomorrow’s blog will be about my first volunteering session on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway. Wooo….Woooo

Selma

Last night we went to see Selma at our local cinema, incidentally the Malton Palace Cinema is the antithesis of the corporate multiplex. There is a warm welcome and I had a coffee in proper china and Marion a ginger beer in a glass. You can even have a beer (Black Sheep) or a glass of wine. The seats are generous so all in all it is a pleasant experience.

I thought I knew what to expect but for a film where you know the basic plot and where there is no surprise ending it held you in the palm of it’s hand. Why was that, in some ways it was because of the power of the story, and the shock as to how recently people had to fight for basic rights in the United States? Coming from Britain it is all too easy to come from the moral high ground here, we must not forget that Selma was contemporaneous with the Notting Hill Race Riots. Racism was less ingrained in society, but it was insidious and ever present never the less.

So why was the film so good, it had great actors with a fantastic script, this was all the more remarkable because they could not use Martin Luther King’s actual words as they are copyrighted by his estate, the licence to which is currently held by Steven Spielberg. In a sense this improved the film because you were not waiting for the famous words and critiquing their interpretation.

There was a great central performance from David Oyelowo, he did not take the easy road, which would have been to portray King as a saint like figure, but instead he explored the complexities of his character, the man who was flawed in his personal life, who was an astute planner and maybe a manipulator. It showed that his movement was not united and indeed not sometimes welcomed in towns like Selma. I do find it difficult to believe that he was not shortlisted for an Oscar.

As an aside it was interesting to see how many British actors were in the movie, British actors played the Kings, LBJ, and Governor Wallace, major US figures. However I came across an article that pointed out that Meryl Streep has played Margaret Thatcher. I heard an interview with Oyelowo where he said that this was partly because he had to go to the US to obtain good and challenging roles to play. They were simply not available in Britain, perhaps our equality of opportunity is not as good as we think.

So a good evening out, at one time entertaining and challenging. There was certainly much to discuss on the way home.

Texting is a Life Saver

One of my recent blogs was about communication and the different means that people use to communicate. I was discussing that various modes of communication are best for specific things. It just so happens that I read today about an organisation that provides support for people in crsis using text messages.

So we are all aware of the well-established support organisations like the Samaritans. Crisis Text was a completely new organisation to me, at first it appears counter intuitive, how can you provide support using texts, and indeed why do you need to use texts.

It appears that texts are now so ubiquitous particularly amongst the younger demographic. Apparently the average teenager sends 2000 texts a month. Also texting is something that can be done very quietly and privately. If you think about it phone calls can be heard, face to face requires physical proximity and thus is obvious to a potential abuser. Also people are very used to expressing their emotions and communicating by text.

This all came about because a social worker received a distressing text accidently, and was unable to follow-up on it. Now Crisis Text is dedicated to responding to supporting text messages. Once a text is received the same principles apply as to most counselling. Use open questions, use the first person as it implies more empathy, keep them on the line, and if things are urgent try to get help to the person.

The service is run like a Silicon Valley start-up in that most of the people responding to the texts work as part of virtual teams, and receive support/training on-line. So it is a really good volunteer model that can be flexibly performed from anywhere.

What interested me was the huge amount of statistical information that this organisation is able to gather. For instance the most depressed state by texts received is Vermont, interested to hear my readers’ views on this one. They also have very accurate statistics on the time of day particular problems occur.

All power to this organisation known as Crisis Text, using modern means to solve old problems.

Fear – Surprising who is Afraid

While at the gym today I was listening to a podcast about fear. There were some interesting and surprising illustrations of this sensation that we have all felt. There were three great examples that I would like to share with you.

They talked to David Blaine who simply explained that you could condition yourself to achieve anything, and forget all of your fears. Thus from a very young age he had taught himself to hold his breath for a prolonged time. That developed to the point where he could publicly break the world record for breath holding, yes there is such a thing. Interestingly for this and the other bizarre acts he performs he practices constantly. Thus he practices holding his breath for a number of minutes before going to bed each evening, as well as drinking kerosene. Now me I prefer a cup of cocoa. He has performed a number of scary things and professed to have no fear. He was then reticent when asked whether he was frightened of anything. His answer staying in a strange house on his own and most significant if he perceived that his three-year-old daughter was exposing herself to danger. I think that is a common reaction, I certainly am more fearful for my children, even in their grown up state than I am for myself.

More predictable was the Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield, you know the one who famously sang Bowie in the International Space Station. He said he was extremely frightened when at launch and re-entry. He used his astronaut training to get over those fears. Quite simply he had so much to think about that he had no time to be scared. You think there is a lot to do in a spacecraft, for Chris this is compounded by the fact that he has to know how to do it in Russian so that he can communicate with his co-crew members and the ground staff. So here is somebody suffering from a sensory overload that precludes fear.

Often it is said that fear drives people to make good decisions in difficult circumstances, this refers back to the cavemen whose fear of the sabre-tooth tiger helped them be hyper-aware and thus sense danger before it became apparent. The corollary is that sometimes irrational fear can cause people to make the wrong decision. Thus the whaler crew shipwrecked in the South Atlantic, had a couple of options, all by the way which were difficult. The easiest was to set sail for some islands, the snag they believed the islands to be inhabited by cannibals. The more risky option was to risk running out of food by striking for the South American mainland. Their fear of the cannibals that was irrational and not necessarily supported by fact caused them to take the fatal option. Most in fact died before they were rescued.

So fear is on the surface a simple emotion, however as we see if we examine its nuances we find it to be hugely complex. Thus is it a fear of dinosaurs in her bedroom that cause my grand daughter to come down from her bedroom, or is it just the tale that she weaves to stay up a little longer.

Boooooo……..

I am Stubborn

It may surprise my readers to know that I am stubborn. It is not an admirable trait but it is who I am. So this blog will be therapy and I am looking to my readership to provide me with that therapy. So first of all is being stubborn a good or a bad characteristic? Being stubborn could also be characterised as sticking to ones guns, being certain about something and not being swayed. Often the characteristic of blowing with the wind is criticised as being weak. So therefore is being strong to be certain about things, or indeed is it just being stubborn. Let me give you some personal examples and we will return to the pros and cons of stubbornness.

As you know my mother sadly passed away in October of last year, and under the circumstances of her death I have had to deal with the coroner or more precisely he coroner’s office in Hastings. We got off to a bad start, as the person I dealt with was very matter of fact. He did not give me any information as to what the process involves. I later found out that there was a booklet available that would have explained the whole process. He further angered me when he said that the process would take at least six months because the coroner only sat on a Thursday morning, I was tempted to ask that with such a backlog maybe he should sit on another day. So when the coroner’s officer asked me details about my mother’s childhood. When I asked what the relevance of this is to the process, he said, “Because the coroner likes it”. Well that did it I have been difficult, stubborn with this officer ever since.

Secondly I am now working part time, very part time, and one of my colleagues has adopted a very command and control attitude towards a working document that he wants, although there is no conceivable reason why he wants it. So I have just refused and I am being stubborn.

If I look these personal examples I would say that stubbornness actually equates to pride, and pride in this sense is not necessarily an admirable characteristic. I would also say that my stubbornness is actually only noticed by myself and is only eating me up, so what is the point. So once again this blog has been therapeutic, I realise that my stubbornness is not an admirable characteristic, and may be I should just get over it.